She's Here!

I am a month postpartum. The beautiful family has come and gone and I am feeling small bouts of accomplishment. But I bet you want the details.

Induction was set for April 14, but clearly this little girl decided she couldn't wait that long to start the party.

April 4th, 6:30 a.m., my alarm goes off. I get up like any other day and eat my bowl of cereal. My hips are sore and feel like they have spread in the night and I seem to be experiencing a strange sensation in my lower pelvis- I think it might be contractions. Since there isn't much Capt'n Crunch left, and because I know I can't eat once I get to the hospital, I polish off the last bit of cereal.

I start getting ready like any other self-respecting woman, my makeup was fully intact, but my clothes were poorly matched, as the contractions were stronger by that point. After a call to my sister, the emergency line to my OB's office and a few text messages to co-workers I began to realize I was REALLY in labor. After I told the OB emergency line "My contractions are 2-3 minutes apart and are pretty intense," they said, "you need to go to labor and delivery, now."

It's not difficult to imagine the look of horror on Michael's face as he answers my FaceTime call (especially since I've never called unannounced). I hold a fake smile between contractions and tell him that I'm headed to labor and delivery and I'll keep them posted "if I'm really in labor." The only thing that he could mutter at the time was, "the soonest we can get there is tomorrow at 10 a.m." As I feel another contraction coming on, I tell him to do what he can with a big, fat, wincing smile.

My husband makes his call into work to make arrangements because his wife is pregnant and in labor (both of which were shocking news to unknowing co-workers...). We load up our son and head to day care, then to drop off my FMLA paperwork (thankfully I had picked it up the afternoon before!). Then, on to the hospital we go. In between contractions, I mention we should take bets on what I'm dilated to... but that was quickly forgotten by the next contraction. We get to the hospital and I snap at a sweet little volunteer lady and tell the maternity care coordinator that I will sign anything that they need me to and the answer to all of their questions is, "Yes."

Three or four contractions after arriving a little after 9 a.m., triage is attempting to get me checked in, despite my foul attitude. Despite several questions about an epidural, I was not able to get one. I was checked and dilated to an 8. Five minutes later, my water broke. Twenty minutes later, I delivered a beautiful baby girl. A day later her daddies got to meet the little princess.

Managing the Details

3 weeks left!

It's amazing, how quickly a pregnant woman will stop counting up and start counting down to delivery day.

We are down to the final month. My last pregnancy was 2.5 years ago and I will verify that this child-bearing "thing" is for the younger crowd. Little Miss Bunny seems to be resting very low. There are times mid-walk I have to stop and kind of crouch over to get her out of a very uncomfortable and compromising position.

As you can imagine, two very excited parents are already packed and ready to fly! I have yet to pack my hospital bag, so they are making me look bad.

Almost all of the legal stuff has been completed. The Pre-Birth Order (PBO) was approved! That document will establish the rightful parents and will take my name off of Bunny's birth certificate once she is born. The only things now left to do will happen after she is born. What a relief it is to have very organized parents.

I had an OB appointment on Monday and am down to the once-a-week visits. I am dilated to a 1 and "about half way thinned out," according to my doctor. Let me just say, there are a few things one forgets and blocks out after the birth of a child; cervix checks are one of those. Since I grew up on a farm, I always related it to my dad preg checking the cows (just google it...). Those gloves go all the way up the shoulder, so that poor cow has it MUCH worse off than myself.

34 Weeks

I have five weeks left of being pregnant.

HOW CRAZY IS THAT?!?

Michael and Jason fly in to KC in one month. I'm excited to see them again and excited to help them set up their temporary apartment for their new family.

This little foot photo is a few weeks old. I'm sure it is bigger now and I can assure you it is much more tappy these days. During the ultrasound she was wiggly and playing with her other foot. Both of those little feet like to find their way into my ribs. She prefers me to use proper, upright posture - She's already so British.
Hopefully, she'll have (at least) a little bit of fuzz for hair. She was measuring in the 61st percentile for size. I like that; she's no behemoth and she'll still be healthily sized.

It has been such a relief to have such a boring pregnancy. Isn't that what everyone hopes for? Nothing to get nervous about and everything to go according to the plan. I do have a follow-up appointment with the neurologist this week. My CT scan was normal, so that is good news. Hopefully, those strange symptoms were just a weird fluke that will disappear.

Dempsey is finally noticing my sizable bump. I lifted my shirt to show him and he laughed and proceeded to drum on it a little while. He felt her kick last night and quickly pulled his little hand away. I suppose that would be weird if you weren't expecting it!

I may have thoroughly confused the poor child by telling him there is a bunny residing in that bump. However, it was pretty funny when he walked over to Justin and asked if he was also smuggling a bunny in his belly. My very audible laugh received a glare.

Pregnancy Side Effects

Pregnancy does weird things to a woman.


It can change her body, change her mood, change her life.

There are cravings, aversions and "side effects."

The strangest thing I've experienced while pregnant is sneezing. If I am hungry and take a bite of food, I will, inevitably, sneeze. It is the weirdest thing, and I've only met one other person that has experienced this phenomenon. 

The other side effect I have had is "complex migraines." These aren't normal migraines - I have a dull headache, at best. But it is accompanied by "ocular disturbances," meaning that I get blurred vision on the right side of my field of vision. Then my hands, nose and mouth will go numb.  I talked to my OB and my general practitioner about it and "complex migraines" is the answer I got. They last for about half an hour from start to finish and come very irregularly, maybe one every couple of weeks. 

Doesn't that look delicious!?!

I love ice. I can't get enough of it. Apparently, ice is considered a "non food" item, which means I have Pica. Some people suggest that craving ice may mean that I have an iron deficiency. In fact, I do. Just got the phone call to start an iron supplement. I'm starting to worry that chomping ice is becoming a habit rather than a craving. 

Little known fact

This is the real reason our pregnancy stuck...

THAT will make the embryo stick!

In all honesty, as soon as I got up there, I thought, "WHAT AM I DOING! I am supposed to be taking it easy!" and immediately went and laid down.

I had a check up last Monday at 27 weeks. I passed the glucose test with flying colors, just as I knew I would. I did make the mistake of eating a huge "farm girl" breakfast before deciding to down my orange sugar juice. I was terrified I was going to vomit on the way to the doctor's office. Did you know you have to drink another one if you can't keep it down? What torture!

I gained 5 pounds, to which my amazing nurse quickly stated, "Oh my! She's gone through quite the growth spurt!" What a smart woman.

We also set the induction date! April 14 is delivery day! Michael and Jason have already {and excitedly} booked their flights and started packing. 

Michael pointed out that there were only 12 weeks left. I asked him how that made him and Jason feel: "Terrified!" I thought that was a laughable moment. Mainly, because it is completely NORMAL!  

12 weeks left!

Tap Dancer

 

I was in denial for a while.

It's undeniable now; Bunny is kicking or tap dancing like a Riverdance girl.

My OB told me I have a posterior placenta (meaning it's attached at the back of my baby tank) so it would be a little longer before I could feel her really clogging around (my words, not hers).  At 20 weeks, let it be written, she made her presence known.








At 21 weeks, she is about 10.5 inches long and weighs just a little less than a pound. I'm still not that big out front, but definitely fitting well into my maternity clothes. The cold Kansas weather lets my bulky pea coat hide the extra me. That makes picking Dempsey up from daycare a lot easier without any extra questions about reserving an extra space for the Young family.

Hopefully I can get the Bellybuds out this week and start some Baby Mozart jam sessions. For those of you that don't know, Bellybuds are little speakers you stick to your growing belly to play music or other audio. I got them as a gift with my son and I think they are great. Dempsey is quite the music connoisseur and at age two enjoys Call Me Maybe, Robin Thicke and Miley Cyrus (referred to as "the broken girl...)... but only if these artists are singing with Jimmy Fallon (truth be told, he really loves Jimmy Fallon).

Our goal with Bellybuds this go-round, is to have Michael and Jason record their voices to play to Bunny. I've heard that Alice in Wonderland is currently in production. Until then, she'll be listening to Baby Mozart, the Lumineers, Mumford and Sons... and maybe Katy Perry... Or Jimmy Fallon if Dempsey has anything to say about it!

Could it get any better?

Michael and Jason were absolutely fabulous.

In the words of my husband (ye of little words), "They're good people."

While the visit was short, I think we jammed as much conversation in as possible in the day we had together. I had a headache from all the laughing by the end of the day, so I popped a Tylenol and chugged a water to cut it before dinner. It worked and dinner was great. I saw a look cross Justin's face as we went to a barbecue place and he was the only one that ordered barbecue. Truth be told, America's portion sizes are quite large, so Justin was really the only one that was hungry by the time we went to dinner.

Ironically, there were two [BRAND NEW] gay dads, just a table away, celebrating the new family member with their friends and family. I think it made the evening even more surreal. The scan made the idea of that little gummy bear (now looking much more like a Whippet or Greyhound - such a long spine...) REALLY REAL. Bunny moved, even shook that little booty, quite the dancer. The hospital tour was great, and my glances to Michael and Jason revealed excitement and terror all wrapped into one. We really are fortunate to be working with such an accommodating hospital.

I'm kicking myself for not getting any pictures of us together. I'm sure I could photoshop something together, but I just don't have the flair for that kind of buffoonery today. That means I will just have to snap that many more photos in April.

In case any of you were wondering, Bunny is a little girl! This will make pulling off a nickname like, Bunny a lot easier!


Congrats, Michael and Jason!

One More Day

Michael and Jason are in the air as I type.

By tomorrow we will have already been through our hospital tour and found out if Bunny will wear pink or blue (and tons of yellow and white).

Can you believe it?!?!

Building Anticipation

I've been a slacker in the blogosphere.

My apologies. I've been busy in the rest of my lifeosphere.

I've started my Master's. Finally. Now, in two years, I might be able to get a job where I can use, at least, one of my degrees. Maybe.

Michael and Jason are officially 17 weeks pregnant. CRAZY! Where has the time gone? I've been getting lost in the lull of no news is good news.

I unpacked old and purchased a few new maternity clothes. I don't know if I wore these with Dempsey, but I've got to fit them in to my winter wardrobe; maybe with tights. Aren't they beautiful?

I really wish I could have snapped a pic of the khaki pants that were in my second-hand tote (surely my sister didn't REALLY wear these horrid things). I STRONGLY DISLIKE khaki's because they've never been nice at accentuating my rump. But the maternity khaki's take it to a new level of figure abuse... it's just plain mean.

In any case, I'm happy I will be enjoying Thanksgiving in some awesome stretchy pants. Maybe, I'll even let Justin borrow them. Just for lunch.

NEXT WEEK Michael and Jason will be flying over the pond to see their baby wiggle on the ultra sound screen! Oh, and of course, we'll find out if there is a he or a she residing in the baby tank. I've got my own suspicions, I'll let everyone else spend the next week guessing.

Smooth Sailing: 2nd trimester!

It's been a while.

The good news: I have nothing to report!

I'm off meds and feel like a normal person, so it's nice to just live day-to-day, like nothing is happening. This is quite the switch from the beginning of the surrogacy journey, where there is only excitement. Now, it's just waiting. O, and by the way, second trimester!!! Exhale that heavy sigh of relief. As far as I'm concerned, it's all smooth sailing now!

At 13 weeks, Bunny actually looks like a baby. YAY; that's great news!


Size of a peach, little bones forming, wiggles and might even suck a thumb! As for my body... well not all pants button and I'm in the market for a "good pair" of yoga pants that I can pass of as work slacks... That's not because my body has made huge mutations modifications, but because I really never want to get out of comfortable pants.

Pretty soon I think we will be breaking out the BellyBuds to get those developing ears tuned in to daddies' voices. If you don't know what those are, they are awesome. I'll tell you more later.


Here is a glimpse of my weekend. Dempsey enjoys tinkering around in our "guest house." It's his play house, but it's my best attempt to sound fancy.

Grow, Bunny, Grow!

Bunny is growing!

It is almost unfathomable to think about how much this little bebe has grown in two weeks. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Bunny is only the size of a grape - but that looks like a big grape!

I came to a conclusion today. Almost an epiphany. It is hard to explain the relationship of a surrogate with her Intended Parents. Even harder to explain the relationship with the child.

With my own pregnancy, I wasn't overly "ga-ga" over the idea of our little bundle of joy. Maybe it was more terrifying that exciting. I didn't make much of a big deal out of my pregnancy. I didn't tell many people and my mother and Justin both had to beg for the go-ahead to spread the good news. I loved my baby in utero, but I didn't get in a good bond until he smiled at me.

I was thinking about how much Bunny had grown and how exciting that was. Of course, I always find myself sending pictures or video of the appointment while still in the parking lot.

The difference between loving your own child and loving a surrogate child is that when there is a milestone, you get so excited for the parents. You try to imagine which one will be the mother hen and which one will the spoiler. As creepy as it sounds, I find myself day dreaming of their future. I love seeing the excitement in their faces every time we Skype and I'm so thankful that we have been extremely successful thus far.

It is pretty rare that I think things are happening to me. I more often think things are happening to us - Michael, Jason and myself. More often, I refer to things as happening for them. This is their pregnancy. This is their baby. I'm just excited to be a small part of it. I think that is the main difference of being a surrogate mama.

8 Weeks

Uneventful is good.

This week I get to skip the doctor's office. All of my hormone levels and ultra sounds have been superb, so I get a break this week... at least from the doctor's office.

The due date for our little gummy bear is April 20, 2014, which just happens to be Easter. Baby shall from now on be referred to as, "Bunny."

I'm sure Bunny is growing like a champ in that baby tank. Am I starting to "show," you ask? NO! I'm a healthy woman... you'll have to wait a while for any noticeable bump to form.

Food aversions have mellowed as well as some of my nauseous tendencies. I seem to get really hungry, and then hardly eat any of my lunch. Considering I could be "losing my lunch," my appetite is hardly anything to complain about. Justin is already becoming worried about sympathy weight...

I set up my appointment with my own OBGYN (HIGHLY recommended by my new-mom neighbor). It's still a couple of weeks away, but I will consult with her before finishing my monitoring appointments. Jason and Michael are waiting on pins and needles for an ultrasound date, so they can make travel arrangements. Needless to say, that will be the first question I ask.

Little Peanut

It's Thursday!

Don't worry - s/he'll get much cuter...

That means it was testing day!

The little peanut's heart beat is growing and getting stronger. I could actually see the little beat on the ultra sound screen. I also think I saw the start of little limb buds! 

The nurse practitioner (who is amazing, by the way) said that this week baby looks like a peanut, but next week, baby will resemble a gummy bear, which, of course, sounds delicious to me. 

Ironically, the two things stashed in my desk drawer happen to be peanut M&Ms and gummy bears...