Pregnancy Side Effects

Pregnancy does weird things to a woman.


It can change her body, change her mood, change her life.

There are cravings, aversions and "side effects."

The strangest thing I've experienced while pregnant is sneezing. If I am hungry and take a bite of food, I will, inevitably, sneeze. It is the weirdest thing, and I've only met one other person that has experienced this phenomenon. 

The other side effect I have had is "complex migraines." These aren't normal migraines - I have a dull headache, at best. But it is accompanied by "ocular disturbances," meaning that I get blurred vision on the right side of my field of vision. Then my hands, nose and mouth will go numb.  I talked to my OB and my general practitioner about it and "complex migraines" is the answer I got. They last for about half an hour from start to finish and come very irregularly, maybe one every couple of weeks. 

Doesn't that look delicious!?!

I love ice. I can't get enough of it. Apparently, ice is considered a "non food" item, which means I have Pica. Some people suggest that craving ice may mean that I have an iron deficiency. In fact, I do. Just got the phone call to start an iron supplement. I'm starting to worry that chomping ice is becoming a habit rather than a craving. 

Little known fact

This is the real reason our pregnancy stuck...

THAT will make the embryo stick!

In all honesty, as soon as I got up there, I thought, "WHAT AM I DOING! I am supposed to be taking it easy!" and immediately went and laid down.

I had a check up last Monday at 27 weeks. I passed the glucose test with flying colors, just as I knew I would. I did make the mistake of eating a huge "farm girl" breakfast before deciding to down my orange sugar juice. I was terrified I was going to vomit on the way to the doctor's office. Did you know you have to drink another one if you can't keep it down? What torture!

I gained 5 pounds, to which my amazing nurse quickly stated, "Oh my! She's gone through quite the growth spurt!" What a smart woman.

We also set the induction date! April 14 is delivery day! Michael and Jason have already {and excitedly} booked their flights and started packing. 

Michael pointed out that there were only 12 weeks left. I asked him how that made him and Jason feel: "Terrified!" I thought that was a laughable moment. Mainly, because it is completely NORMAL!  

12 weeks left!

Meet the Parents

Due to technical difficulties with blogger, I have been asked to share this blog post from the intended parents. Hopefully this is just the first of many to come. Enjoy!

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We have been keeping a low profile as really Morgan is the star here....but now that "we" are officially pregnant, we can't control our excitement as IPs any longer. So how did we get here... five years ago we took a career break and travelled the world for a year and half. We had time to reflect and time to plan for our future away from the pressures of work and the daily grind. On a garden square in New York we got engaged and on a beach in Koh Samui we decided to explore growing our family. 

Fast forward through the rest of our travels, setting up a new business, buying a new home and researching surrogate options, we eventually met up with Circle and started the process that brought us to the news of being officially pregnant yesterday.

Once we had filled in the interminable paperwork and sought to understand how the journey would proceed, we got to the great bits...matching with our wonderful egg donor and our amazing surrogate. The matching was intuitive and we felt an immediate connection between ourselves and the two wonderful women who have helped us get this far. Words can't really explain how lucky we feel to have meet and been accepted by them. It was a nervous wait to see if they were willing to help us and it still is difficult to express how generous they have been to make it possible to arrive at this point.

Seeing the ultrasound yesterday and hearing the heartbeat was astounding. It brought tears to our mother's eyes and the still photo has been safely lodged in our wallets. There's a long journey still to go...Morgan has morning sickness, raging hormones, tiredness and more pills to take...we have to wait till our lives get turned upside down. I know we have the best of that deal but despite being an ocean away we are with her all the way.

Michael and Jason

Raging Hormones

I remember teenage angst. Well.

I've been feeling like a caged animal the past week.

It's obvious; I'm pregnant.

I knew it before I tested. I just looked at Justin and wanted to rip his face off. Poor guy never knew what hit him.

He doesn't understand why I'm reacting so negatively to a pile of [his] clothes in the basement right outside of the laundry room. BECAUSE IT MAKES ME CRAZY that he can't 1. put his clothes in the $50 laundry sorter I bought to lessen the hassle of laundry and 2. move the pile five feet into the washer.

 I've been catching up on the 3rd season of Dexter (relax! I've been busy!) and the girlfriend is pregnant and rants at Dex for, well, nothing really. Justin looks at me and murmurs a, "Huh..." I could have thrown a chair at him, BECAUSE IT MAKES ME CRAZY he could even relate that scene to his beautiful, loving wife, awesome mother of his child.




So tonight, when Justin got home, I admitted it. "Honey, I think my hormones may be getting the better of me."
"What would make you say that?" asked a very sarcastic husband.
The reply was less than P.G... because that sarcasm kind of made me crazy...

Work this week may prove to be difficult.

I am prepared to make a sign for my cubicle.

Lucky

Sometimes I forget to stop and be thankful.

I started my adventure at the end of April. Matched with the intended parents in May. Screened in June. Started medication in July. Transferred August 2nd and officially pregnant on August 15.

That is amazing.

Do a quick Google search of "Surrogacy success rates." Let me know if you get a direct answer. 

At best, surrogates and intended parents are hoping for a 50% chance at success. HOPING FOR 50% - did you see that?

Being a part of surrogacy support group has been a great opportunity for me. While my partner and family are very supportive, there are some things that you want to share with your surrogate family. They cheer you on for appointments, blood work and pregnancy tests. They also sympathize with you for thin lining, negative pregnancy tests and sometimes, at the very worst of things, surrogacy denial from doctor and agency.

It is hard to revel in a victory when one of your surro-sisters is agonizing after her second failed transfer. It is hard to celebrate the stars aligning for a perfect outcome when one of your surro-sisters was just banned from surrogacy from something she couldn't control - her body's reaction to meds.

That being said, I find myself moving my state of mind back to cautious. I am so thankful that our journey has been so seamless, but I would be lying if I said I'm not nervous. 

Can things possibly stay this perfect? 

YES; surely, they can. 

Positive Beta!

I'm positive it's positive!

My beta number was 279! What a super number!?!

It's now totally acceptable to get excited. I'm talking FREAKING PUMPED!

Congratulations, Jason and Michael!

On Edge

Could it be any more plainly stated?

I once had a music teacher that said, "If you aren't [sitting] on the edge, you're taking up to much space." This, of course, my frame of mind wasn't what she was talking about.

Possible reason:

• Work has been irritating lately. I refuse to say stressful, so I'll stick with irritating.
• Home has been fine, if you consider falling asleep at 9 p.m. with laundry piling up in the living room, fine (meanwhile my husband possesses the anti super-hero power: selective blindness. For some reason cannot see nor sense the very very very visible chaos forming in our home.)
• It could be that I was running late with my little one today BECAUSE OF THIS:

The real reason is because we are waiting for the beta results.

"What's a beta?" you ask.

Considering the woman that drew my blood didn't want the responsibility of explaining it, I doubt I will do a decent job. But I'll try.

Surrogates seem to talk in code: "My beta was a 416!" What does that mean?

The beta number measures the level of hCG in the bloodstream. In case you don't know, hCG is the hormone the body creates when there is a pregnancy. So, beta measures that level (I don't know the unit of measurement, so it's hard for me to fully understand, but I digress...) to determine if there is a [viable or chemical] pregnancy and, perhaps, how far along the pregnancy is. 

The clinic I'm monitoring at would like to at least see a 50 at the first beta, give or take a few. They would like to see that number double (give or take a small margin) within 48 hours, meaning I will have a second beta next week.

It is also important to know that these numbers, as will every woman's body and pregnancy, are very different and very flexible.

For a more medical and thorough description of the Beta, Click Here.

The numbers will be in by this afternoon. Think positively!

What is Crinone?

How awesome are suppositories?

If you follow along with my blog or any other surrogates, you might hear us talk about suppositories. There are many complaints concerning surrogacy medications. I actually have none. Cri-none, to be exact (enjoy that pun...).

When I was first given my medication I was skeptical. No shots; just oral medication and suppositories. "Will that be enough?" I thought. I'm happy to report that yes, it worked perfectly to get my baby tank fluffy for a transfer.

What do these suppositories look like? How does it work, exactly? I was expecting a little gel capsule and some kind of applicator.

Crinone is just an applicator with progesterone gel. The tip to the right tears off and then the gel is expelled with that handy, dandy little air pocket.

I administer this twice daily. I would administer it 10 times daily if it meant not having to shove 3 differently sized needles into my skin, fat, thigh or rear for the better part of four months.

Transfer Week

It's nice to be home.

As I walked into the office today, several women asked if I was pregnant. Maybe, but isn't it a bit too soon, ladies?

August 2nd was the big day: embryo transfer. I was lucky enough to sucker Beatrice, my surrogacy coordinator, and Dr. Lavy into posing for a picture with me. Seriously, these people are amazing. I have nothing but awesome things to say about NEFI. I am also so sad that some people and surrogates have to experience other fertility clinics that are far less accommodating. Not only are the staff and nurses so sweet and nice (a terribly hard thing to find at a doctor's office), but Dr. Lavy is so personable. His bedside manner stands out far above the rest. Also, special shout out to Grace - my recovery nurse. She won my heart with the Oreo's and Tylenol.

The transfer is difficult to explain. Not because of the detailed procedure, but because of the emotions and feelings. I wasn't sad. My excitement had subsided and I felt nerves in the hours proceeding transfer. Perhaps pressure. Definitely pressure. As I was typing Carpe Diem, I got a text from Justin. The message wasn't anything elaborate; basically "Good luck. I love you." I felt a tear stream down my face. The hormones had finally caught up to me. I felt lucky to have a partner that was willing to let me get pregnant with someone else's baby and turn our "routine" upside down for the better part of a year. I am lucky. But let's be honest, he's pretty lucky he snagged a hot lady that can make this gown look good!


After gown-ing up, I went into the "operating" room. It was like any other "lady" appointment, except I had my mother behind me, my intended parents tuning in via Skype over my left shoulder, a nurse with an ultra sound and a lab coordinator walk in with a foot-long blastocyte-containing catheter for transfer. "The best part?" you ask - Beethoven booming over the speakers during the five minutes that passed. Completion was topped off with a round of applause from Jason and Michael, probably intended for Dr. Lavy, but I like to take a little bit of credit...

Look at those beautiful blastocytes!
Eight embryos were thawed. Seven survived the thaw. Three were deemed acceptably healthy for transfer. Two, the healthiest boy and girl, were transferred.

Michael and Jason were sweet enough to send me a beautiful bouquet of flowers and chocolate-covered strawberries. Dempsey received a teddy bear for giving up his mum for the week.

In case you were wondering, YES the flowers made it home! It took some creative thinking and packing, but, alas, they made it and are a beautiful addition to my kitchen counter.



I was even lucky enough to bump into two surrogates out of my support group, Chana and Carrie!  Chana is from Cali and Carrie is from Charlotte(ish). How great is it that a support group set up on Facebook can bring total strangers together. I had never met the women, and yet, it was like we were long lost friends.

Carpe Diem

Today is the day!

My mom and I flew into New England on Wednesday evening. We started the morning with breakfast with another surrogate that had just had her transfer. It was awesome getting to know another surrogate in person. After our monitoring appointment I ran Mom ragged strolling the streets of NYC. Staying busy kept me from focusing on why I'm here.

In 45 minutes I will be at the clinic being prepped for "conception" or transfer. It's becoming a little daunting. I try to find words to describe and I'm stooped. Surreal is the best I can come up with. I find myself being extremely short with patience and every now and again I find my blood running cold. I suppose I'm letting the nerves get the better of me.

Dr. Gad Lavy, NEFI

Luckily, my IPs will be joining me via SKYPE. I know they are so excited. I've been in the surrogacy process four months; they've been here for three years.

I KNOW this will be a POSITIVE appointment (enjoy that pun). My baby tank was deemed "gorgeous" yesterday at the monitoring appointment. NEFI has a beautiful way with words. Plus, look at that doctor with those sweet babies; Could I be in better hands?

I'll be back with an update later this afternoon.

FAQs and concerns

Everyone Else's FAQs:

1. "How will you give up the baby?"

• Simply stated, it's not my baby. That baby belongs in the longing and loving arms of its intended parents. Of course there will be a strong connection with the child, but that is because of the strong connection I have built with its parents.

2. "How did you come to this decision?"

• It's been in the back of my mind for a while. I seriously considered it shortly after I had my own child, but Justin wasn't ready for it yet. It took some convincing, but all I really had to say was, "Look at our baby. Imagine if we couldn't have that. How empty would we feel if we couldn't hear that awesome little giggle." He was pretty much mush after that.
  
  I suppose that still doesn't answer the why. The further i am into this process, the more I will be able to answer that question. To be continued...

3. "How much money are you getting?"

• I am amazed how many people are comfortable to rudely ask this question without their brain filter catching it. I'm a pretty open person, and I really wouldn't care to tell an acquaintance my weight or how much I make at my job, but this one irritates me. A lot. Maybe because this process is about completing a family. There is a little person at stake. There is a family at stake. Surrogacy is usually a last resort and I've put a lot of pressure on myself to deliver some awesome results. And the best question these bystanders can come up with is, "How much?"
  
  My first instinct is to bark, "It's none of your G D business." After I calm that instinct, I will tell you that all of that information is readily available on pretty much every surrogacy agency website. Put in a little effort and Google it.

4. "How does that all work?"

• In my case, there is an egg donor. Her egg and one of my IP's genetic material created an embryo that is waiting for my baby tank to make a nice comfortable home. Soon, little baby embryo, soon.

My concerns:
1. How well will my family handle it?

• It's now a part of the conversation. My mom keeps getting more and more comfortable  with the task at hand, although she hasn't told any of her siblings.

  2. What should I expect for strangers reactions when they ask me about "my" baby I'm so obviously carrying?

• I didn't like the attention my own pregnancy garnered. I imagine I will like this attention even less, because I will  have to address certain reactions. It's hard to  think that the IPs can't experience that attention. To look at them, it won't be obvious to any stranger that they are expecting. I on the other hand with be having a Q&A  session in the grocery store when I just wanted to pop in for a gallon of milk. I think I may invest in one of those surrogacy T-shirts, in black of course. This lady doesn't wear white when pregnant, especially if there is a camera any where within the vicinity.

3. Failure. Multiple attempts.

• Need I say more? As difficult as it is for me, I can't imagine the agony the IPs would be experiencing. I'm trying to stay positive, but the statistics are a 50% chance of success with one embryo and around 80% with a two-embryo transfer (with standard margin of error, I'm hoping). Glass half full? The odds are just as likely to be successful so let's stay positive.

4. Postpartum

• Baby blues aren't very fun. The great thing about being a surrogate is that you don't have to stay home a feed a baby every couple hours, although I will be pumping, so it's still fairly taxing... I wonder if it is easier to dull the hormones with an anti depressant, or just leave town for a refresher. The real plan is probably keeping my baby boy home with me to keep me company and keep my mind focused.

5. Postpartum relationship

• I think every surrogate has the fear in the back of her mind that the Intended Parents just might change their minds. That the relationship they desire isn't the same as the one you desire. From their point of view it must be terrifying; they've put an amazing trust in a woman they barely know and she is carrying their child. She could go crazy and skip town with their precious cargo or a variety of other scenarios. I hope that my family becomes an extension of their family. 

6. Hero Award

• Let me be very clear. I don't think I'm special. I don't think I'm great. I think I am one person trying to put some good juju out in the world. I've already been told that I am, "amazing" and "selfless." That makes me uncomfortable. I don't think of myself that way, so it is hard to give an un-awkward response when it happens. I am excited that I get to be a part of Jason and Michael's adventure. I am the lucky one that gets to get to share their experience (yes, I know, they do get a baby out of the deal, and that is pretty lucky/special/awesome).
  
  I think, especially as Americans, we forget how big the world is. I am not well traveled, I don't have a passport (YET!!) and I get really excited when I speak to someone with a "foreign" accent. Getting the opportunity to work with international intended parents let's me link to the "outside world."
  
  I also want to set an example for Dempsey. He is much too little to understand now, but I hope one day he will be able to appreciate the idea of "paying it forward" and maybe model that behavior.
  
  So really, I'm being pretty selfish. I hope Michael and Jason are okay with that - as long as they get their little honey bee, I think they will be.