The best thing...

The best thing about my surrogacy journey so far is that no one has asked me to step on a scale.

No one.

Not NEFI, not my local monitoring clinic, not my IPs and definitely, not my husband.

Clearly, that is not the best thing about the surrogacy journey, but it's a nice perk. I was expecting to be weighed, measured, poked and prodded. Basically, all of the prior stated is standard and routine EXCEPT weighing in.

I think that will end today. I see my personal OBGYN and I think the first order of business, besides paperwork, will be a weigh in.

I've got an idea of what my starting weight was... so we will see if there has been much of a change. If my feelings get hurt, there may be a stop for ice cream on my way back to work.

Grow, Bunny, Grow!

Bunny is growing!

It is almost unfathomable to think about how much this little bebe has grown in two weeks. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Bunny is only the size of a grape - but that looks like a big grape!

I came to a conclusion today. Almost an epiphany. It is hard to explain the relationship of a surrogate with her Intended Parents. Even harder to explain the relationship with the child.

With my own pregnancy, I wasn't overly "ga-ga" over the idea of our little bundle of joy. Maybe it was more terrifying that exciting. I didn't make much of a big deal out of my pregnancy. I didn't tell many people and my mother and Justin both had to beg for the go-ahead to spread the good news. I loved my baby in utero, but I didn't get in a good bond until he smiled at me.

I was thinking about how much Bunny had grown and how exciting that was. Of course, I always find myself sending pictures or video of the appointment while still in the parking lot.

The difference between loving your own child and loving a surrogate child is that when there is a milestone, you get so excited for the parents. You try to imagine which one will be the mother hen and which one will the spoiler. As creepy as it sounds, I find myself day dreaming of their future. I love seeing the excitement in their faces every time we Skype and I'm so thankful that we have been extremely successful thus far.

It is pretty rare that I think things are happening to me. I more often think things are happening to us - Michael, Jason and myself. More often, I refer to things as happening for them. This is their pregnancy. This is their baby. I'm just excited to be a small part of it. I think that is the main difference of being a surrogate mama.

Meet the Parents

Due to technical difficulties with blogger, I have been asked to share this blog post from the intended parents. Hopefully this is just the first of many to come. Enjoy!

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We have been keeping a low profile as really Morgan is the star here....but now that "we" are officially pregnant, we can't control our excitement as IPs any longer. So how did we get here... five years ago we took a career break and travelled the world for a year and half. We had time to reflect and time to plan for our future away from the pressures of work and the daily grind. On a garden square in New York we got engaged and on a beach in Koh Samui we decided to explore growing our family. 

Fast forward through the rest of our travels, setting up a new business, buying a new home and researching surrogate options, we eventually met up with Circle and started the process that brought us to the news of being officially pregnant yesterday.

Once we had filled in the interminable paperwork and sought to understand how the journey would proceed, we got to the great bits...matching with our wonderful egg donor and our amazing surrogate. The matching was intuitive and we felt an immediate connection between ourselves and the two wonderful women who have helped us get this far. Words can't really explain how lucky we feel to have meet and been accepted by them. It was a nervous wait to see if they were willing to help us and it still is difficult to express how generous they have been to make it possible to arrive at this point.

Seeing the ultrasound yesterday and hearing the heartbeat was astounding. It brought tears to our mother's eyes and the still photo has been safely lodged in our wallets. There's a long journey still to go...Morgan has morning sickness, raging hormones, tiredness and more pills to take...we have to wait till our lives get turned upside down. I know we have the best of that deal but despite being an ocean away we are with her all the way.

Michael and Jason

We Have a Transfer Date!

August 2!

I sent Jason and Michael this message:

 I finished the note telling them they needed to call their mothers at their earliest convenience.
Jason replied back very quickly with:

 I literally have trouble containing a huge smile every time Jason uses, "OMG." I love that reaction; it makes him seem so candid and boyish. I love it.
And here is Michael's reaction:

I laughed out loud in my cubicle at work. "Restrained Brits," such an image to upkeep... :D


It is barely more than a month away and it seems so far away!  I was excited, but their excitement sent me over the top and should carry me through the rest of the week, at least.

My Intended Parents - A Concise Introduction

After chatting them up this weekend, they said they were comfortable being "named" in my blog.

I was very nervous to even tell them that I had a blog. Some people are very private. I am not one of those people, but thought that it was important to keep personal information or descriptors hushed until I had approval.

Great news; Michael and Jason loved my blog and were even giddy to interact with my posts. Maybe I'll get one of them to write a guest post... I'll have to figure out how to do that first. Any ideas, Jeni?

Mondays

I think Office Space said it best:

If someone were to say that to me today, there would probably be an HR case filed.

I'm just in a funk today. No particular reason (well, my boss will be coming back from her 1.5 week vacation from Hawaii tomorrow... and that alone is probably the reason). 

I have plenty to keep me busy and plenty to be happy about. It's a beautiful day in Kansas City and my little guy woke up in a fairly good mood. He was willing to give plenty of hugs and cuddles before I left for work.

I was fortunate enough to skype with my IPs yesterday. I, of course, mixed up the time difference and was an hour later than I originally told them. What a ding dong, am I? I was thankful they were patient with my crummy internet (our image froze several times) and Dempsey (who found a red button to push; the off button on the surge protector to the computer). Google will be laying the lines soon for our gigabit internet, THANK GOODNESS! After that, skype will be a breeze!

British Baby Showers

I watched Barbara Walters' 20/20 program "Bringing Up Baby: Royal Edition" (hard hitting news, I know) and it was mentioned that Kate was in the middle of quite the conundrum. Her mother started a party planning company, but the Brits don't "do" baby showers. It's "an American thing."  The woman on the program said that the British aren't into making a big deal of things and think it is a little, for lack of a better term, rude to expect people to bring you gifts.

Mind blown.

Of course I had to investigate this cultural disconnect in traditions. I emailed my IPs and received this response and I quote,

"... isn't that just an excuse for all your non pregnant friends to drink at your
expense whilst you have to stay sober and discuss how easy it is to sleep?!?!"

I was astonished (and slightly disappointed they wouldn't jump at the chance to sit, sip, compare and complain...that's my typical girl's night). 

Now, I will say, I think gender reveal parties are a little silly. They seem like a stretch when it comes to excuses to throw a party. But a baby shower? That was just part of the "coming of age" process. I don't think I know a person that had a baby without having a shower.

Poppycock. I will have to convince them how important it is to their livelihood.

My Journey Coordinator

I met my journey coordinator today.

She is the third "go-to" person I've had at Circle and will be my journey "overseer" for the rest of our adventure.

We went over all of the upcoming paperwork and generalized time lines. I hung up thinking my notes were still a little hazy with the details. She speaks very quickly. As I reflect I have to smile as this thought pops into my head. If I had trouble keeping up with her New England accent, I wonder how my London IPs did.

That thought deepened. Somehow, Americans went from having their British accents, mutating to an Eastern accent, and then continuing to evolve across the US with such different dialects.

In just 15 days Justin and I will be flying out for our medical clearance. I'm sure time will fly. Maybe I should start packing now...

Medical Screening Scheduled

They've scheduled me for June 13th!
I'm very excited to "really" start making things happen.

So let me explain a little of what is happening on the "back side" of our adventure.

As you know I've met my IPs. We have been conversing via e-mail. While I love e-mail, it makes it fairly difficult to cultivate a relationship - but we're doing our best.

I now have a journey coordinator. This is the 3rd person that helps me through the surrogacy process and she will be my, for lack of a better term, assistant for the rest of our adventure.

Of course, I would love to bore you will explaining all the paperwork - travel questions, a surrogacy book (literally 33 pages - it would have been nice to get that week 1), more medical records requests, and so on. LOTS of e-mails... but I love hearing my phone's little "ping!"

Now that we have a date for the medical screening and I have a basic timeline for meds and transfer, I need to start training.

"For what?" you may ask.

For this: http://www.godirtygirl.com/


My friend, Meagan, talked me into this months ago, and I just didn't know how the timeline would turn out. I've got one month. I want to do it. I need to do it. I haven't trained nearly enough for it.

Good news: it's non-competitive (which isn't really my style, but I digress), not timed and only for women. I could walk the thing, if I wanted.

So, when Justin scoffed, "5K? You can't do that. You aren't in shape to do that..." my will power was lit with fire and I think that made me actually decide to do it.

Did I mention it was for a good cause? Proceeds go to breast cancer research. You should find a race near you.

Perfect Match!

We met the parents!

They were absolutely wonderful and I find myself getting excited and daydreaming about our adventure and what their in for (I say that because I've been chasing my naughty-at-times toddler).

Imagine this guy's accent...

The IPs are from London and I'll admit I felt very "American" when speaking to them. Their accents are beautiful, one from Wales and the other from the Scottish countryside. I never thought I had much of a Kansas accent. The term I used earlier, American, let me explain... Do you know when breaking news, especially bad weather reports, are on the news and they find someone's neighbor to interview? It is almost always a person that couldn't find anything but pajamas to wear and is missing a few teeth. Now think a bit of how they speak... Still thinking? Got it? Good (if not, I've added a picture to the right if you lack imagination). I felt like the featured neighbor on the breaking weather report; that is how beautiful their accents were.

I'm excited to share this adventure with such a deserving couple, soon-to-be family. In the meantime, I will be practicing my diction.

Potential IP's

I was presented with the potential intended parent's profile last week. I've been very hesitant to say anything about it; I don't want to jinx anything...

BUT, I have a Skype date with them tomorrow morning. I promise I'll get back with you with the details soon.